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You could setup standard NetBeans Java project (rather than a NetBeans JavaFX project), and add the jfxrt.jar library to your classpath. You will lose all of the project packaging support NetBeans provides. On the other hand NetBeans won't be taking time trying to package (and possibly doing other unwanted tasks) during development.
You could additionally have a separate JavaFX project (NetBeans project or just an ant or maven build) which you use for building and testing your final deployment packages when you need that.
Note that developing in intellij idea is similar in that you just put jfxrt.jar in your project libraries and you can easily develop and debug javafx applications rapidly without a need for a seperate jar creation step that NetBeans enforces for a JavaFX project.