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I've read Many (with a capital M) of these discussions, and the end result is always a stalemate. TCP has too much overhead, UDP is not reliable enough. It really depends on the needs of the game and how much and how often you will be pushing data through the line to know which of the two will work the best, there is no one answer for all situations. Sometimes TCP's overhead is not a problem sometimes UDP's unreliability is not a problem, sometimes a reliable layer on top of UDP is the best choice.
This discussion does not relate to Java specifically by the way, so if you want to read some discussions on this matter, do a more global search for TCP vs UDP. A search of this forum will also yield you some (recent) results.
no need to apologize, no harm done.
To make my post at least somewhat useful, I'd like to add this standard link I tend to post in threads like this. Its the forum FAQ of the gamedev.net networking section. It has a ton of information that can help you get to the answer you seek: