sorry, no help but: Iam fighting like you.
I tried the same to get multiple databases to live: no result
I tried to get a connection to configure apex-listener running under Glassfish via SQL-Developer: no Connection possible
I tried to get a connection to configue apex-listener via SQL-Developer : this works if Apex-Listener runs standalone but: I can't store the configuration
I am surely a Oracle-fan with APEX and the DBMS but all installations of Oracle makes me mad.
Try to install the dbms 3 times, it will react 3 times different.
The clone tool of db's works one day, the next one it stops anywhere without any online comment (anywhere in hidden logs you will find a miracle error description.. java-errors self explaining if you know all libaries)
I dont know who ever makes quality checks there but they need any old guy, not the young hackers.
I think Bill Gates has time.
I am so frustrated with all this installation stuff and sh..., i hope one day microsoft buys Oracle, then the installation may be smooth and all features will work.
And you dont have to be a script guru to manage an update, may be. This is naturally only a daydream...
I work like you at this problem, if I have any solution I let you know.